Our Announcement

For anyone who does not know, Todd and I are going to adopt! We made the decision in the summer, and have been learning a lot! Following are the steps of the process that we have completed so far (written as if I wrote them when they actually happened):

Step 1: Getting Information – Brooke requested information from LDS Family Services and they mailed us some introductory material, along with a basic application. When we were ready to take the next step, we contacted them and scheduled an appointment.

Step 2: First Couple Interview – We went to visit with our LDS Family Services counselor, Sam. It was actually pretty emotional because he wanted Brooke to disclose her personal feelings about infertility and adoption. But it was a very informative “session” (I say session because it felt like we were in couples therapy or something). It will be a long process!

Step 3: Paperwork – We have been working hard on filling out all our forms and questions. There are a ton of questions that have to do with all different types of topics: finances, family of origin, what we look like, personalities, strengths/weaknesses, how we handle conflict, about our parent’s personalities and strengths/weaknesses, etc, etc, etc. We had to fill out what Todd and I look like, and what our parents and brothers look like. The funniest part was the minimum height of males in our family – We had to put 3’ for Brooke’s immediate family because of her 4 year old brother Brennan! We also had to put what were the hobbies and interests were for our siblings – Brennan: playing, running, screaming, teasing, trucks, toys, Legos…. After all the questions about our family, then we had to fill out a preferences sheet. This was difficult because you had to indicate to what severity you would accept a number of different diseases/disabilities. It was kind of sad saying no to so many things…. Then we had to fill out several pages of questions about ourselves. Even though it took a long time, it was actually a good thing, because it required a lot of introspective thought.

Step 4: Education and Training – They gave us a list of books and articles to read about adoption and parenting. You have to have 8 hours of training before you can be approved and then 6 hours of continued education while awaiting placement. I went right to the library and checked out all of the ones they had and put holds on the ones they didn’t have. I (Brookie) also made a spreadsheet to keep track of the books I read so that I can keep notes of what I learn from each book! There are some really good children’s books. The two books I like best are: Tell Me Again About the Night I was Born (children’s) and Parenting with Love and Logic. We also watched a really good movie, Martian Child.

Step 5: Physicals – We had our physicals and TB tests, and we both passed with good health! The physician was really tough on us. She sat us on her table, looked in our eyes and ears, listened to our hearts, took our blood pressure and poked us in the ribs and back.

Step 6: Individual Interviews – We had our individual interviews at the LDS family services office (it is in Independence). I was in there for about an hour and Todd for about 45 minutes. He asked us the same general questions that were asked on the questions sheet, just a little more in depth. I was nervous, but I think it went really well, and it was actually a very healing time to get out some feelings about infertility. Then Sam (our “agent’) brought us in together to talk to us about the next steps of the process. Todd believes the real purpose for the individual interview is to get us alone and ensure that neither of us is being coerced into this decision by the other.

Step 7: Letter to the Birthparents – We have been working on our birth parent letter. This has been really hard because it is one of the only things a birth parent will look at when deciding on a couple. But I get a lot more worked up over things than Todd does. We will also soon begin working on our collage – a two-page scrapbook sheet with pictures of us. I have also been organizing the copies of various forms we need: birth certificates, SS cards, marriage license, background check forms, tax forms, and financial statements.

Step 8: The Home Visit – We set up the date for our home visit! I am panicking! There is so much that I wanted to have done on the house before they came, but now will not have time. He is coming on October 24th. Maybe we can put a blindfold on him when he looks at the back yard!