Welcome Grace!

The summer of 2015, Todd and I started to think about adopting again. We got signed up with the same adoption agency we went with for Jackson, since they already had all our information. We were shown to some birthmothers here and there, but no solid matches happened. Around October, we were contacted by another agency about an outreach situation in Virginia. We decided to have them show us, and we were matched. That situation (and now we see how merciful it was), fell through. Since we had paid the agency fees for that Virginia situation, our money was kind of stuck there. Shortly after that situation, our agent told us about a birthmother that was due in August. My mind at the time (this was the end of February) couldn't even fathom August. I needed something sooner than that, or so I thought. So we were hesitant to go with that opportunity. There were different situations that presented themselves over the months, but nothing solid ever came through. Pretty soon it was the beginning of summer and we needed to commit to the situation with the birthmother in California, if we were going to. After a lot of prayer and scripture study, I finally "reconciled myself to the will of God," and commited my heart to this opportunity. We were able to talk with the birthmother and had a good chat. She is from Nigeria, so she reminded us a lot of Imma, and that was so nice. I think I was still really nervous because it seemed like the perfect opportunity, and I was scared of another failed placement. The weeks wore on and we were able to talk to the birthmother a few times. Pretty soon, we started making plans, sorting baby clothes, and thinking about names. I was still scared, mostly because I really wanted it to work out and there are never any guarantees. 

Our agent called one day and said that the birthmother had been at the doctor's all day because the baby had turned and they were talking about needing to do a c-section on Monday, July 18th. We were anxious all that weekend, and wondered if we would be traveling Monday. But the doctor's were able to turn the baby, so she wasn't born that day. We were disappointed at the time, but now I see the Lord's merciful hand again in wanting us to wait, so that we could be blessed with an even greater experience a few short weeks later. Finally, the time had arrived and the doctor's scheduled the birthmother to be induced that next Saturday, July 30th. So we made all our final plans and left the Thursday before. We drove a few hours and spent the night, and then finished the drive on Friday. We were staying about an hour from Oakland, at the parents of one of Todd's coworkers. We are always so grateful for the immense help we receive in these adoption journeys. The next day we headed to the hospital early. We met the birthmother, her three daughters, and friend, and everyone was so warm and kind. She got all checked in and then the wait started. Todd hung out with our kids, and the birthmother's friend with her daughters. I was able to stay with the birthmother. She wanted me to be there for the whole experience, and I was so grateful. She and I were able to bond and it was such a tremendous blessing. She was admitted at 8:00am on Saturday and around noon they turned on the medicine to induce labor. All that day we waited. There was no change. I slept in a chair that night in the birthmother's room. Neither of us slept very well, I think due to some anxiety, the discomfort, and the many beeping monitors. The next morning there wasn't really any change and we both felt a little down and impatient. The doctor's came that morning (Sunday) to check progress, and decided to do a few things to help make some progress in the labor. They broke her water later that morning. Todd came and we went to church, and by then contractions were building. We were grateful for the progress. We came back from church and contractions were getting more intense. Todd stayed with the kids in the waiting room, but eventually I told him that I didn't think the birth would be until later, so he should take the kids home. The birthmother's kids had stayed home too. 

On Saturday night I was worried about being able to keep the Sabbath holy the next day, and I wasn't sure about what to do about church. But it was such a lovely Sunday and we were able to go to Sacrament and the birthmother and I had a lovely afternoon and we talked about God and about the church and were able to read scriptures together. That was such a blessing. 

All that afternoon she was in pain with contractions. She decided later to get an epidural, but was really nervous if it would affect the baby somehow. She loved her baby so much. The epidural helped a lot, and so there was more hours of waiting. She was finally able to start pushing that night around 7:30, and it was a long hard labor for her. She was so strong and courageous. I was so thankful that she wanted me there so I could be a support to her and help and encourage her. She pushed for several hours. The doctors started saying that if the baby's head didn't come down soon, she would need to have a c-section. The birthmother was terrified at that thought. We all prayed that the baby would be able to be born naturally. It was looking like this baby really wanted an August 1st birthday, and at midnight, through much prayer and grace and mercy from the Lord, the baby was finally ready to be born. She was born at 12:21. It was such a miraculous and sacred experience. There is nothing to compare it to. The baby was strong and healthy and beautiful. They asked her name, and after I saw her I knew her name was Grace. The birthmother loved that name too. I had been praying all day to know what her name should be, as we still weren't settled on a name. But Grace was the name that came, as I thought about how the birthmother needed the enabling and strengthening power to endure through her pregnancy, the birth, and the ultimate placement she would do. And I also thought about how grace is the love and mercy and kindness of God, which He has manifest over and over in this adoption journey. So Grace was born, and we all loved her. The doctors and nurses were so understanding and compassionate, and the birthmother was so amazing and wanted me to cut the cord and be the first to hold the baby. 

After they cleaned up Grace, I was able to cut the cord and then held and rocked and fed her. It was so surreal. It was all so perfect, I kept waiting for it to end or for me to wake up or for someone to say it wasn't real. It was the most amazing experience. We all rested there for a few hours and then they came to move us to Postpartum. They took the birthmother to her room, and then I went with Grace to the NICU. She had to stay in the NICU because of some special medication. By this time it was about 3:30 and I hadn't slept that whole day. I was so tired. The nurse showed me how to care for Grace. I finally laid down around 4:30 and slept a little here and there. The next day (which was actually still Monday), Todd brought the kids up and they were able to see and hold Grace for a few minutes. We spent a little time with the birthmother, but I wanted her to sleep also. Through that day, I rested, read to Grace, fed and changed her, and sang to her. I can't put into words what a blessing it was. I was still so nervous, because I didn't want the experience to end. I wanted the placement to go through because I had fallen in love with Grace already and had grown to love the birthmother so much also. It was a fabulous day. Todd brought dinner later and we enjoyed dinner together. 

That night I went to bed early and was able to get a few more hours of sleep, in between all the monitor beeps and the feedings. The next morning Grace's birthmother and I visited for a time, and then she went back to her room and I went to get ready for the day. The doctor stopped me on the way out and asked if we would like to take Grace home that day. That was such a welcome idea, as we had been thinking it would be the next day. And I was definitely ready to not be "sleeping" on a hospital chair any more. I texted Todd so that when he came, he could bring all Grace's stuff and the birthmother gifts, should we be able to take her home that day. 

I was so nervous that day, as the attorney would be coming that afternoon. I was fairly certain that the birthmother would sign, as there was never any indication that she wouldn't, but it is still nervewracking. The morning was spent just kind of waiting. The hours went by slowly. People came in and out for paperwork, and the doctors and nurses came in and out a lot to do their discharge procedures. Before I knew it, the birthmother had signed. It all felt very natural. The paperwork and checkups happened throughout the afternoon. There were so many blessings and tender mercies. The Lord worked out all the details. Todd brought the gifts for the birthmother and we were able to spend a few precious moments with her just us. Eventually, all the paperwork had been completed and we were all ready to be discharged at the same time, which was another miracle. 

We got all our belongings and headed out, stopping to take pictures on our way to the car. We hugged the birthmother and we left. We couldn't believe it. It still felt so surreal; it had been such an amazing experience. 

I was thinking about the hospital experience and the time with Grace in the NICU. It became a truly sacred place for me. During the whole stay the Spirit was so strong, it was palpable. Even though it was a really exhausting experience, I felt so supported and sustained by the Spirit. And the Lord was so merciful to teach me important lessons. I felt changed through the whole experience. The birthmother in Virginia had expressed a desire for me to be there for the birth, but then that never came about. It was something that I had always longed for, to be there for the birth of my children. With infertility, that is something that I had always missed and really wanted. I was so thankful that the Lord blessed me with that sacred opportunity of having the whole hospital and birth experience. It was a miracle! 

Grace's birthmother is one of the most amazing women we have ever met. She is without guile, a truly good person. We are so thankful to welcome her and Grace into our family. We have been so blessed. The Lord was so kind to deny us the opportunity in Virginia so that we could be blessed with this precious baby. Words cannot adquately express our profound awe and gratitude for this gift, the gift of Grace.

Through this whole experience, and through our whole adoption journey, the Lord has been so merciful, generous, and gracious. We are so grateful for adoption. It is a miracle. Each one of our children are a miracle from God. And we have been changed by each one of their births. We will forever honor each of their courageous birthmothers, who chose to take care of their babies while pregnant, and, out of love, chose to place them for adoption. Without the love they had and have for their babies, we wouldn't have the blessing of children. We are so thankful for the goodness of the Lord. Heavenly Father knows where each of His children need to be. We know He has a plan for each one of His children, and we are so grateful that His plan for Savannah, Jackie, and Grace included us. We are forever thankful.