Tooting My Horn and Giving Thanks

Here's a surprise. At least, it was to me. Yesterday I stepped on the scale and saw that I had lost a few more pounds. I had just gotten out of bed, so it took a second before I realized that the needle was pointing at my goal weight.

I couldn't have done this alone. I had a lot of help behind the scenes, and some heartfelt thanks are in order.

I must thank my iPod Touch, Apple Computers, and the iPhone/iPod Touch App Store, without whom, I never would have found "Lose It!," the iPod app that started us on this wonderful journey.

With that in mind, I'd like to thank the developers of "Lose It!" for giving their life-changing app away for free to all of the fatty-fat-fatso-cheapskates like me. To show my appreciation, I'm linking to your site.

I'd like to thank Bruce Welch, the bishop from our ward in Provo, who, when I flippantly asked about his 'secret' when he told us in a meeting that he'd lost 20 pounds told me, "There's no secret to losing weight. You just need to take in fewer calories than you burn."

There are some other people I need to thank as well:

The Keebler Elves, for their incredible innovation in developing 100 Calorie Right Bites and their ability to fit 16 miniature Fudge Shop Stripes cookies into that little package.

Frito-Lay, for deciding that creating a line of baked chips would be a good idea.

Coca-Cola (specifically the Sprite department, if there is one), for their beautiful no-calorie invention, Sprite Zero. I truly made a breakthrough the day I discovered that I could drink as much Sprite Zero as I wanted without ingesting a single solitary calorie.

Wonder Bread, for their contribution of light wheat bread, which has 40 percent fewer calories than normal bread, tastes great, and has re-introduced toast into my life.

And last the best of all the game, I'd like to thank my beautiful wife for being my best friend and my partner in this crime; for cheering every time I take two Thin Mints instead of the suggested serving size of four; for not getting upset when I go back for more soup because my daily calorie budget is nearly 50 percent more than yours; and for understanding that it is easier for guys to lose weight than it is for the ladies. I couldn't have done it without you.

Now, let's go buy a new belt.