Getting Old at the DMV

Have you ever had one of "those" experiences at your local DMV? When I was little, I remember the DMV being a place my parents dreaded. I've always heard horror stories about people who had spent hours in line, and then when their number was called, they would find out that they were missing a form or some type of identification. We put off replacing our Utah drivers licenses for 18 months because we didn't have time to put ourselves at the mercy of the local Department of Motor Vehicles. But, on the first anniversary of moving across the state line into our first home, we paid a visit to the nearest DMV.

We left our house at about 10:45 Saturday morning. 20 minutes later, we left the Raytown DMV with our new licenses in hand. It was nothing short of miraculous.

Despite our short stay, however, we did get a little older waiting at the DMV. When I was getting my picture taken, Brookie noticed something different about me. There, twinkling in the early afternoon light of the waiting room, was a hair that was slightly different from the rest. It was my first gray hair. And, if that news wasn't bad enough, they took what could be the worst drivers license photo ever. Honestly. If they had a "wall of shame" (and they really should), I would have been the goof of the month. I'm listed at 200 lbs., and that's what they put on my license. We've been going to the gym about 5 times a week now for two months, and I thought I was doing pretty well. But, lets just say that anyone who sees my new ID will not believe that I really weigh 200 lbs. or less. I mean, my double-chin looks like it weighs 150 lbs. all by itself.

Our trip to the DMV proved to be an enlightening experience. I'm now a documented fatty-fat-fatso, with graying hair. But, on the bright side, we were in and out of their in 15 minutes -- which was half as long as it took us to get our order at Sonic on the way home.